Beside You
by rauraR5fangirl
Summary: you never know if you have only one last chance to do something before it's gone. it's always too late. (relationships and red carpets AU). (i'm sorry for re-uploading it three effing times. there were some mistakes.)


**WHAT IS DIS SHIT.**

**I literally forced myself to finish this (i know, not the best way to write a fanfiction)**

**i'm sorry if this is not good enough, but i wanted to push myself to finishing at least _one_ thing this winter break cause i accomplished absolutly NOTHING.**

**I wanted to prove myself wrong i guess?**

**Plus i've been writing a lot more fanfics but never posting them bc i have this problem with never thinking anything's good enough (i'm forcing myself to post this too...so)**

**yeah hope you enjoy it. I'm sorry in advance if it isn't too good. I know i know i know it's not the best fanfic ever and please ignore any spelling or grammar mistakes made here. I didn't check it.**

**My writing style is a bit rusty i guess. (i whipped this all together at 3am.)**

**oh and i know the first part is basically relationships and red carpets. But in detail...i guess**

**and then it gets to my own imagination.**

**Since i'm writing this for no other purpose but for my own entertainment and anyone else reading this, i obviously don't own shit but the plot line.**

**so here's a list of stuff i don't own (cause i'm too cool for a normal disclaimer):**

**-austin and ally**

**-wherever i go by hannah montana**

**-beside you by 5sos**

**-love me harder by ariana grande**

**-die alone by eminem.**

**And anything else you might recognize.**

**Woot i'm done. Now get to the story.**

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ (◕﹏◕✿) *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

_**The silent words are hard to speak  
>When your thoughts are all I see <strong>_

_"and the winner for best debt album is..."_

_he firmly closed his eyes, his heart beating rapidly as he took deep, shallow breaths._

_"fierce, __Jasmine Fiera__" the presenter announced._

And with that he let out a sigh of defeat, this night was supposed to be one of the biggest nights in their lives, a night that they will always remember.

He _was_ going to remember it alright, but not for the reasons he was hoping for.

He was going to remember it as the night his heart got shattered to pieces multiple times.

just when he tried pulling it back together temporarely to be able to go through the night another strong punch was delivered to his already wounded heart, making it almost impossible to breath.

It all started with jimmy not allowing them to go public with his and ally's relationship, that meant everything to him, to the world.

He hated being controlled around but he never showed it, and he definatly wasn't going to start now.

He took a deep breath and agreed to jimmy's terms of hiding his relationship with ally.

Ally dawson, the girl who turned out to be the biggesst plot twist in his life, a plot twist that he felt overly lucky to come across, the girl who helped him climb up the steep stairs towards fame, a girl who started out as a complete stranger and ended up being the one who he had helplessly fallen in love with without even knowing.

You know how when you're dreaming it feels like hours and hours of either a good or bad movie. and then when you wake up you only remember small parts and you think 'this doesn't even make sense!"

Well i guess you can say It was all like a dream, one thing he knows he's sitting on the piano next to this adorkable girl who he had just met a day ago, helping him to write another song so he won't make a complete fool out of himself on the helen show.

The next thing he knows is he's sitting on the floor with her in his arms, head on his shoulder, his heart beating like a freaking fright train, barely able to breath and his entire body is humming.

He's starting to develop feelings for her.

_How the hell did that happen? It doesn't even make sense!_

**It's amazing how one very small event can flip your entire wolrd upside down.**

He walked into that music store with those silly corndogs and no other sole purpose in mind but to try to keep himself and his best friend entertained.

Little did he know he would accidentally steal _the girl from the music store_'s song. And end up Becoming an overnight internet sensation.

Little did he know she would agree to be his musical partner.

Little did he know he'll discover that he has feelings for said musical partner years into their partnership.

And little did he know, he would fall head over heels for her throughout the way.

It was like it all happened too fast, he thought he was just having mixed feelings, then he was sure it was a crush, he was planning to get over it since it was quite obvious they weren't going to date, but she was like a freaking magnet that kept drawing him further towards her which made getting over his little crush a lot more difficult.

Then the next thing he knows the sheer fact of her existance it's whats keeping him breathing, when he looks at her his heart aches, begging for her, everything about her drives him insane, every little detail that he noticed about her, is invading his mind, becoming his every happy thought. She's invading his senses and he's surrendering to her power over him.

He _loves_ this girl.

He loves her and after almost a year of trying to stay friends for the sake of their partnership, they're togetehr and he finally feels complete, like he can breath again, but it's like the air is knocked out of his lungs when he's told he's not allowed to be with her to the public.

But he has to accept that if he wants her to be in his life.

And so he does.

His heart breaks a little.

but he knows he can pull through.

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ (◕﹏◕✿) *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

_We can act like we're not a couple!_

He wants to reach out, cup her face kiss those plump lips when he sees her, wearing that dress, looking like a freaking goddess, getting him speechless, breathless.

He wants to tell her he loves her right there, when she smiles, her smile almost makes him loose his mind.

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ (◕﹏◕✿) *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

_I just wanna be near you._

I just want to touch you.

I just want to hold you and never let go.

I just want to take you away to our own world, a place where we can have all to ourselves, a place where we can be together without having to hide it cause seeing you hurt feels like i've been stabbed and left to bleed to death.

You're hurt and i can't do anything about it.

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ (◕﹏◕✿) *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

_If you got a broken heart you can punch me in the arm._

He's pretty sure if she could she would've broke off his arm right there.

He knows a girl's heart is fragile. And he's sure she was hurt badly.

She was broken and he still couldn't do anything.

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ (◕﹏◕✿) *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

He can't do it, he's sure of it, he feels like jimmy is going to have to phisically retrain him from going up to her and hugging her when he sees her wipe a stray tear from her cheek in a corner, if that wasn't painful enough he watches as she puts on that fake smile for the rest of the world.

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ (◕﹏◕✿) *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

he tries telling jimmy he can't hide his relationship with ally anymore.

He ends up getting threatened to be dropped from the label.

Ally and his carrer.

He has to choose between ally and his career.

The only two things that he absolutly loves.

He was sure he couldn't live without either of them.

It's moments like this where you just want to dissappear, you don't want to have to choose cause you know it's too hard.

You wish you could just wake up and this is all just a bad dream.

But it's not.

And this is pretty fucking real.

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ (◕﹏◕✿) *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

it was like suddenly everything was in slow motion, it felt like hours but it had been just seconds the words had left her mouth.

He fumbled with words "are you saying we should break up?"

he knew she was trying to be strong, he could see it in her eyes, he felt how her words would keep getting caught in her throat, the way she kept looking from left to right, everywhere but him, the rapid blinking, the fiddling with her hands, the way she tried to smile, cause she knew when she smiled he would automatically smile back. But this time it wasn't working.

She was breaking up with him so he wouldn't have to choose.

She was doing the hard work for him.

_"Selling records and making millions of dollars is more important to you than my happieness?"_

Well right now She was giving up her own happieness for him.

He felt a loud pang to his heart, loosing the ability to speak properly.

He swallowed hard, his throat thick "i-i don't wanna loose you again"

Like that time we weren't ready to date yet.

Like that time i didn't tell you how i truly felt and i was sepearated from you for ninty four days.

Like that time i was already too late, gavin had swept you off your feet.

I can't bare to loose you again, he wanted to say, but all he could do was just look at her while she tried to make him feel better about this.

She deserved to know how he felt about her. But he couldn't form words. His voice was lost.

He sighed deeply and pulled her into his emberance, holding her for dear life.

He felt a wet streak down his jacket and he knew it was her tears and also knew she was trying to act strong in front of him, so he pretended he didn't feel it, even if it crushed him inside.

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ (◕﹏◕✿) *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

just when he thought things couldn't get any worse, dez had came up to him, and told him the big news.

Get heart, insert bullet, POW.

Thats what it felt like.

He lost the girl he was helplessly in love with just a few minutes ago and now he's just reciving the news of his childhood best friend, who is more like a brother to him than just a friend, is moving away.

again he was speechless when dez explained that to him, a word not being able to leave his mouth.

again he was forced to hug goodbye another one of the most important people in his life.

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ (◕﹏◕✿) *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

barely able to even walk properly, jimmy led him to his seat, right before the nomenies were announced.

He saw the way ally was holding onto to trish and her father's hands, he truly wanted her to win, he wanted to see her real smile at least one more time.

"and the winner is..."

with the first word left the presenter's mouth, the music started playing and the crowd started cheering, all he could hear was muffled sounds, his head was heavy, his heart was aching, he just wanted to close his eyes and never open them again.

and that was it. He lost hope in everything.

"i know you're upset about ally, but everything i make you do is to help you get up there someday"

anger surged through his body.

The next thing he knows he's remaking tv history by being kanye west and interrupting jasmine's ecceptance speech.

Words are flowing out of his mouth before he can even stop himself "i love you ally".

then there it is "i love you too austin".

And then he's kissing her.

In front of everyone.

Basically in front of the whole world.

And he makes sure to hold her closer when the crowd erupts into a loud cheer.

Later that night they said their goodbye's to trish and dez as the seperated, him and ally walking out of sonic boom in eachother's arms.

_OOOOOOOOOOOh_

"austin" jimmy pats his back "austin" he tries again, shaking him.

He shakes his head rapidly and turns to him "what?"

"you were compleatly zoned out" jimmy laughs but his voice was drowned out by the loud cheers of the crowd behind them as jasmine finished her acceptance speech.

he has a pretty good way of imagining things but not getting to do it.

He started clapping along with the crowd just so he wouldn't stand out to the camras.

It was like experiencing sleep paralysis, he wanted to get up and make what he just imagined, reality.

But he couldn't get up from that chair, it was like he was tied by some imaginary rope.

So he stayed silent, for the rest of the night, regretting every missed oppertuity he had until it was time to go home.

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ (◕﹏◕✿) *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

Sleeping that night was the hardest thing ever considering the fact that she managed to never leave his mind.

Every time he closed his eyes he would see her face, her radient smile, her glowing skin, her plump lips that he wanted to kiss oh so desperetly.

He wanted to hold her, to feel safe until evreything was right again, until all of this was gone.

Her. He needed her.

And right now he needed her to leave his mind before he started loosing it.

He shot up from his bed and immediatly his head started pounding.

_Hmmm, side effects of crying like a little bitch for the past hour._

He wiped his burning eyes and threw on his hoodie, climbed out the window and took off.

He didn't know where he was going until he actually got there, the beach.

Why was he there? What brought him here? It was like his brain was on autopilot cause he has no freaking idea how he got here.

_Great, i'm turning to lydia. Yay to supernatural powers. **(*casually throws in a teen wolf reference* woot)**_

he walked until he got to the shore, throwing himself on the sand and just staring blankly ahead of him.

The darkened beach was quiet, peaceful, perfect for his current mood and buzzing mind.

He sat there. And just thought about everything.

What if he gave up his career for her? I bet it would've been less painful than this.

He sat there for what felt like hours but it was actually half.

Half an hour.

He thought about it for half an hour and his head was ready to explode.

He felt something move behind him, a distant sound on the other side of the beach.

His heart leaped right out of his chest and started doing jumping jacks, his breathing sped up and fear started overtaking his body

_oh shit oh shit oh shit._

what the hell was he thinking? Coming out here in the middle of the night.

_It's actually morning by now._

**Shut up.**

_Just saying._

**Great now i'm talking to myself.**

He felt something move again, but now it was louder.

He ceased all movement and held his breath. Too scared to look back.

his heart was almost crushing his ribs, beating so fast he could hear it in his head

_you're dead you're fucking dead. It's a serial killer and your name is going to be added to the long list of his victems._

He took a sharp intake of breath. Swallowing hard.

"austin?"

and he let it all go, resulting in a loud, ear piercing scream that made his own ears shake. Maybe if someone heard it he would be saved before the killer could hurt him too much.

Or If he was going to die then might as well have someone find his body instead of getting washed off into the ocean.

Both ways he kept screaming, squeezing his eyes shut and covering his head.

Two hands grabbed his shoulders and shook him.

He peeled his eyes open only to be met by ally's concerned face.

"are you okay?" she grabbed both sides of his face.

He closed his eyes again and let out a huge sigh of relief.

"are you okay. are you okay?" she kept asking.

He tilted his head upwards and inhaled deeply.

"austin, are you okay?" she said again, concern evident in her voice.

Finally he nodded "yeah yeah i'm okay" he kept taking deep breaths.

"what the heck was up with that?" she said, rubbing her thumbs over his cheeks.

He sighed "i thought you were a killer"

she chuckled before standing back up to her full hight "wow"

he lowered his head, remembering everything.

She looked down at her sand covered converses and cleared her throat "can i join you or you want to be alone?"

he looked at her in disbelief "of coarse you can" he said, offering a small smile.

She quietly sat down, bringing her knees up to her chest and resting her chin on it.

It was quiet. The only sound between them was the sound of the waves crashing, calmly.

"what were you doing out here all by yourself?" he asked, not looking at her, instead stearing ahead.

"i was going to ask you the same question" she let out a breathy chuckle.

He smiled but it quickly faded "i-i needed some fresh air" he said.

_Liiiiiiiiiiiiiies. _The voice in his head sang.

Well that was partically true though. He was suffocating in his own room.

_I needed to get you out of my mind before i went crazy. Cause i'm in love with you and you're everything i think about._

He mentally slapped himself.

_You can't say that! That was so fucking cheesy i could actually smell it._

**Shut up.**

_No you shut up. You can't say anything like that. Or think that. At least try to think of it differently. Dude, "i love you and you're all i think about" makes me want to stab myself cause it sounds like a line in some badly written movie._

**But it's true. I actually do love her.**

_But you're pretty fucking bad with putting down what you're feeling into words. Pffft 'iI needed to get you out of my mind before i went crazy.' ha what the fuck._

**Great i'm even making fun of myself. How nice.**

_But seriously. Don't fuck it up! You can't tell her you love her right when she's about to leave on tour. You'll make everthing more complicated. And i'm pretty sure you ain't gonna handle that properly without loosing your shit._

"what?" she asked, amusment evident in her voice.

"nothing. Nothing" he shook his head quickly

"you were mumbling to yourself like some old man" she laughed lightly.

He forced out a dry chuckle "i'm sorry. What were you saying?"

"i said i came out here for the same purpose." she pulled her sleeves over her wrist and covered her knuckles.

He nodded.

_Silence. Silence. Silence._

_Nothing but the sound of breathing._

_Silence. Silence. _

"are you coming to sonic boom tomorrow?" she spoke up

"hmmm?" he tilted his head to the side, he could see her face, illuminated by the moonlight, making her skin glow.

"are you coming to say goodbye?" she asked hopefully "to dez, i mean"

he nodded "of coarse, why wouldn't i?"

"i don't know" she shrugged "you just looked pretty upset."

"of coarse i am." he grumbled, fiddling with the hem of his hoodie.

"you want to talk about it?" she asked quietly.

He nodded.

"i-i know how you feel" she sighed "i know the night didn't turn out like we were hoping for" she slowly reached for his arm and rubbed it "but it's for the best"

"i know, i know." he sighed "but i just..." he tried to find words "ugh" he covered his face.

She waited for him to continue, still rubbing his arm soothingly, trying to calm him down.

"it's just... i hate that we were _forced _to break up after all we've been through" he paused when he felt her flinch "i-i hate that everything's so complicated. Sometimes i just want to be able to normal again. I want to make my own choices. At least walk normally on the streets amongst people." he shook his head.

"said eminem, beyonce and every other celebrity in the wolrd" ally chuckeled "but you're still not that bad. People still respect your privacy."

"okay fine that's not the case." he grumbled "but the cost i had to pay" he said, his voice stern "the cost i had to pay _tonight_" he rubbed a hand over his face "that wouldn't have happened if i was a normal teenager. If i wasn't famous i wouldn't be so hu-" he paused "uhm regretting it right now."

"don't get too upset about it." she said slowly "you still have your music, that was always your escape, right?"

he closed his eyes and swallowed hard "right."

"then you're good" she said "you'll be alright. Austin you still have a long way ahead of you, jimmy is right, and he wouldn't do this if he didn't want the best for you" she tilted her head to the side.

He couldn't say anything. He just nodded although he didn't fully agree.

She pulled her hands away from his arm and started rubbing them together.

He turned to her "are you cold?"

she nodded slowly.

He reached for her hands and gently grabbed them, bringing them up to his mouth and starting to blow his hot breath on her ice cold hands.

She stared at him.

He stared at her.

Their eyes never left each other's.

She softly nodded and he pulled her hands away from his mouth and dropped them.

"thank you" she whispered, her voice shaky.

"no problem" he said, looking down at his legs, folded in front of him.

_Silence._

She looked at him for a few seconds before pulling him inexpectidly into a hug.

He was surprised at first, but then he started hugging back, burying his nose in her hair and closing his eyes. Holding on to her as if his life depended on it.

_I love you._

Nothing came out. Absolutly nothing came out of his damn mouth,

they pulled away and stared at each other for a moment.

"ally?"

"yeah."

_oh shit._

he didn't know how to ask her. He started panicking and his words jumbled together. He struggled for words "uh um uh can i kiss you one last time?" he said but immidiatly regretted it when he heard himself say it out loud "i mean-" he rubbed the back of his neck.

"yes" she nodded quietly. What he didn't know was she was actually hoping for an opertunity to kiss him as well.

Without a second thought he leaned forward and captured her lips in his.

And suddenly everything was gone. He didn't feel trapped or angry.. Nothing but that floating feeling he gets when he's with her.

It was like she chased everything away.

The kiss was slow and passionate.

He cupped the side of her face and she snaked her arms around his neck, holding on desperetly.

He rubbed his thumb over her cheek and he felt a pang in his heart when he realized it will all be over once they pulled away from this kiss, so he made sure to savour it as much as he could.

He squeezed his already shut eyes as if in pain, letting out a small whimper.

They pulled away but he refused to open his eyes.

Their hot breath mingled as they both took deep, shallow breaths.

"i'll miss you" he whispered, resting his forehead against hers.

"i'll miss you too" she said.

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ (◕﹏◕✿) *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

the next morining they all met up in sonic boom, saying their goodbyes.

"i'll see you guys when my tour gets to LA" ally smiled sadly at dez and trish.

Austin shifted on his feat "and i'll see you when the tour comes back to Miami".

"try to come to the LA one too" dez came up to him and threw his arm around his shoulders.

"there's a very small chance i'll be doing that. I have a very strict schedule for recording at the studio this time" he sighed in frustration.

Dez's shoulders slumped.

"don't worry we'll all meet up in Miami" trish spoke up

"yeah, we'll make sure that happens" dez nodded.

"i'll miss you guys" ally spoke up.

"yeah i'm gonna miss you all" trish said.

"hey i'm gonna miss you all the most." austin chuckled "i'm the one who's stuck here"

dez laughed "don't have too much fun without me."

"trust me. I wont" he said seriously.

He opened his arms for him and dez stepped into the hug "i'll miss you, man"

"i'll miss you too" he said.

They pulled away and saw ally and trish hugging.

Dez looked at all of them and yelled "GROUP HUG!"

they all put their arms around each other, hugging tightly.

"i love you guys" trish said.

"i love youuuu" ally said and they broke apart.

They led ally to her tour bus. One last goodbye and they watched as the bus drove away.

Then him and dez led trish to her van with her new clients.

Lastly he drove dez to the airport.

One last hug and that was it. He watched dez dissappear in the crowd.

with that they all seperated.

Team austin and ally sepearated.

He was all alone.

No friends, no one, absolutly no one to help him through this.

_I can't believe i just realized this._

He kicked the door of his car roughly and sat down on the cold, rough concrete of the parking lot, leaning against the car.

He rubbed a hand over his head and inhaled deeply.

_Don't be so fucking selfish. Be happy for your your friends._

With another deep breath he got himself up, Got in the car and headed home.

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ (◕﹏◕✿) *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

he was sitting in front of the TV in the living room, wearing his pijamas, and his hair a freaking mess.

He has been like that for almost three days.

_I have nothing better to do anyways._

He wasn't going to get called in for the studio for almost another week, and since he had no friends to hang out with and spend his free days with. He didn't know what else to do.

He changed the channels before they could display properly.

_"previously on t-" ***click*** " disney channel summer-" ***click*** "only on E! you-" ***click* *****click* *****click*. "**ally dawson's-" ***click***_

he quickly shook his head and rappidly clicked on the remote until he thought it would break off and went back in the channels, two girls appeared on the screen, one of them wearing a hoodie with his own freaking face on it, and the other one wearing a pink dress, ally's album cover was behind them **"**_**finally me tour kicked off in washington DC a few days ago"**_

he sighed and slid back on the couch.

**"_ally performed for a sold out venue packed with screaming fans, which is amazing considering the fact that this is the first show of her first ever tour! That's increadble!"_**

he smiled to himself, he was proud of her.

**"**_**ally shocked her fans on the second show of her tour in memphis last night"**_the pink dress girl started talking.

**"**_**mhm" **_the one with the austin moon sweater continued _**"she surprised her fans when she came out on the stage all by herself, none of her backup dancers or even her band like it was originally planned. It was more like an intimate performance when she started singing an original, never before heard song, which was beautiful by the way, it was just her on her piano, her beautiful voice stunning her fans"**_

He sat up straight in shock.

_Never before heard? What?_

_**"we can tell that this song obvioulsy meant a lot to her as she got quite emotional halfway through"**_ the girl nodded _**"here's the clip".**_

A video started playing out on the tv and his heart clenched.

Ally was sitting on a white piano, wearing a white dress that flowed to the floor, draping around the piano bench.

Her hair was curled, casacading down her shoulders, resting above her waist.

She tilted her head to the side and started singing. And with that he went into shock.

_Here we are now_

_everything is about to change_

_we face tomorrow as we say goodbye to yesterday._

_A chapter ending but the stories only just begun_

_a page is turning for everyone._

he swallowed hard, his throat feeling thick all of a sudden

_so i'm moving on_

_letting go!_

_Holding on to tomorrow_

_i've always got the memories while i'm finding out who i'm gonna be_

_we might be apart but i hope you always know_

_you'll be with me wherever i go_

_wherever i go_

the screen faded back to the two girls _**"who could this song be about?" **_the pink girl said.

_**"and why did she get so emotional?"**_ sweater girl said

"_**yes. That's the question. And whoever this song is about, they obviously mean a lot to her, because halfway she was close to or actually started crying" **_she made a face and looked at the girl next to her **_"i don't know about you but it sounds like our girl has been hurt" _**she nodded.

_**"here's the clip"**_ the blondie said, and the screen faded back to ally's performance.

The clip started out with ally still playing the piano, halfway through the song

_you'll be with me wherever i go_

then she looked up, inhalding deeply and continuing singing.

_It's time to show the world we got something to say_

_A song to sing out loud we'll never fade away_

she turned to the camera, and he felt as if she was staring right at him.

_I know I'll miss you but we'll meet again someday  
>We'll never fade away<em> 

she closed her eyes and hit the high note perfectly, before quickly pulling her hands away from the piano and gently wiping her face.

Thats when he saw she was crying.

_Oh fuck._

_So i'm moving on_

his heart felt like it was being squeezed to death, his chest feeling heavy.

_Letting go._

he started sniffling.

_You are such a weak bitch, be happy for her._

But a few tears slid down his face anyways.

_Holding on to tomorrow-oh_

_**A/N: i know that's not how the song ends. Just roll with i Y.**_

The piano faded and the crowd erupted to a loud cheer.

The screen switched back to the two girls

_**"i have a feeling whoever this song is about we'll be finding out soon."**_ the girl nodded **_"and when we do you'll hear it straight from us!"_**

a silouhette of a man appeared behind them with a giant question mark on it.

_**"who's our girl's ally dawson's mysterious heartbreaker? YOU tell us! Tweet us your thoughts using the hashtag-"**_

he turned off the tv and groaned, rubbing his hands over his face.

Great, he was a heartbreaker now. That's just peachy.

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ (◕﹏◕✿) *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

a week passed and it was time for him to go back to the studio.

Surprising enough he actually wrote a song.

He had his mother to thank for that though, if it wasn't for her literally dragging him out from his cave of sorrow he propbably would've rotten by now.

Immidiatly after seeing ally's performance he went up to his room and into his bed, wrapping himself up in his covers, he Refused to get up the next morning, he barely ate anything, and didn't even shower for two straight days.

After those two days of him refusing to talk to anyone, feeling like she had no other choice mimi dragged him to the bathroom and turned the shower on him while he was still fully clothed.

And he cried. Like a little kid. Right in front of his mother as she stared at him with sad eyes.

The water was hot and he felt himself relax against the tiles, his tears mixing with the water washing over him.

he spilled everything to her. Every single thing about his problems and why he was acting this way.

"i love her" he had said, resting his head against the tiles, still sitting on the floor of the shower.

Mimi had nodded understandingly, giving a word of advice to her son before walking out to let him shower.

The entire time he stood there, her words kept ringing in his ears "you can always make something good out of every bad situation. No matter how terrible it is."

thats how he eanded up writing that song.

Determined to see if his mother's words were correct he tried writing down exactly how he felt.

And it finished off as a song

_she was right._

He had shown his song to the music proucers at the record label and they tweaked on it a bit, fixing it so it was compleate.

And just later that day he got into that booth to record it.

Singing those words somehow made him feel a bit more relaxed, letting all out brought relief for him.

_The pieces of us both  
>Under every city light<br>And they're shining as we fade into the night _

few takes later and he was done.

"thats a wrap" the director said and he looked up from his sheets, not realizing he was sweating so much.

_Sweating? More like crying AND sweating like a fucking pig._

He exited the booth and took off his shirt, wiping his face with it.

Jimmy had tried talking to him but he kept replying to him coldly, call him a kid but he was still holding a grudge against him.

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ (◕﹏◕✿) *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

"_AUSTIN MOON'S NEW SUPRISE SINGLE BLOWS UP THE ITUNES CHARTS ON THE FIRST HOUR OF IT'S RELEASE!"_

_"Austin moon pulled a beyonce move on us and dropped a surprise single titled 'beside you' the song easily made its way up the charts and dropped taylor swift to number #2"_

_"BELIVE IT OR NOT TWITTER TRENDS ACTUALLY CRASHED BECAUSE OF THE HUGE FAN REACTION TO AUSTIN MOON'S NEW SINGLE!"_

_"austin moon announced that he's releasing a new album, coming very soon next month!"_

_"miley cyrus step aside, austin moon came in like a wrecking ball and absolutly CRUSHED the vevo record in the most suprising way possible! The audio for his new single has been uploaded to his official vevo channel and it was just recorded as vevo's new most watched video! HE BROKE THE RECORD JUST FOR THE AUDIO I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN WITH THE MUSIC VIDEO."_

_"beside you, austin moon's new single has been the trending topic of social media for almost a week now"_

_"AUSTIN MOON IS HEARTBROKEN? Yes ladies you heard it right, our favorite blonde hunk is feeling saaad. His new single clearly shows how sad and hurt he is. Hope you feel better austin!"_

he shook his head and turned off the TV, sighing.

He was going to have a busy week.

He was going to go back to the studio to finish his album, then go on a three day video shoot for the music video for his most personal song ever.

_Beside you._

Ally still managed to never leave his mind. He thought about her for every second these past few weeks, and he hated it that he couldn't be fully happy for her. Cause a very small and evil part of him wished she wouldn't be having this tour in the first place, then she would've stayed in Miami and he could still see her.

Yes he sounded selfish.

But hearbreak brings out the worst in you.

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ (◕﹏◕✿) *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

it was the firstday of his video shoot when suddenly the media started buzzing about of ally.

"_ally dawson spotted downtown LA leaving a restaurant with a mysterious man."_

eh, it's just probably dez, they did say they'll reunite in LA.

He was happy. Cause that meant they had reunited, which meant he should be expecitng a skype video call anytime soon, dez had promised to stream ally's concert in LA for him so it would feel like he was there with them too.

The day passed and still no call.

_He probably ran out of charge or something._ He thought to himself.

The last day of his video shoot and pictures of ally were all over social media, pictures of her leaving and going places with said "_mysterious man"_ that he previously assumed was dez but now that he had seen the pictures himself he was sure that he wasn't dez. His heart sank.

Feeling panicked he quickly called ally without giving it a second thought.

She picked up on the second ring "hello?" her voice was soft.

"heyyyy" he said, trying too hard to be cheery.

"hey austin!" she said.

"hey" he repeated

"whats up?" she asked

"uh um " he tried coming up with a lie, a good one "uh you know there are pictures of you all over the place right?" he said, trying to hide his shaking voice as much as he could.

"yeah..." her voice got lower, as if scared.

"well..um" he swallowed the lump in his throat "i was asked about my opinion on it in an interview i have to go resume in a few minutes" he bit his lip hard "and i didn't want to say anything unless i know the truth just in case the media is making stuff up"

she was silent for a few minutes

"ally?" he asked, starting to panic.

"yeah" she said, her voice nervous "yeah yeah that's jake" she said quietly.

"jake?" he asked, his throat getting thick.

"yeah, ronnie introduced us and...um it's all for promotion" she said nervously

"what's for promotion?"

"our relationship" she said.

He went into shock.

She's in a relationship.

_Shit._

For promotion or not she was with another man.

"oh okay. Sorry sorry i have to go now i'm getting called for that interview again" he said super quickly and hug up without even waiting for her response.

He ran off to his own dressing room and broke down on the couch. He couldn't do this. He just couldn't.

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ (◕﹏◕✿) *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

not a week later jimmy called him up with this brilliant idea of 'finally recording that love song with jasmine'.

He was in his bed, rotting away once again when he recived that call.

He wasn't crying anymore, no.

He just lay there. Staring (_more like glaring, but whatever.) _at the ceiling,

He picked up the phone, jimmy presented his brilliant idea, ater a few minutes of arguing he had to agree to it, he hung up and went back to glaring after throwing his phone at the wall, smashing it to pieces.

The reason why he prefered rotting there?

A freaking picture of ally and 'jake' at a red carpet event was all over social media.

If that wasn't bad enough there were pictures of them getting a bit too touchy in the backstage lounge, then the photo booth.

And worst of all?

A picture of them kissing.

Yes, he saw a picture of another man smooching the girl he loved.

He didn't cry, no. He just ran up to his room after breaking a few stuff and just lay there for the rest of the day.

_Crying isn't going to help, it'll just make you feel weak. _He kept repeating to himself like a mantura.

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ (◕﹏◕✿) *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

_what the hell what the hell what the hell what the hell what the hell whatthehellwhatthehellwhatthehell someone help. _Was all he was thinking at the moment.

He got to the studio to meet up with jasmine o record that stupid song with her and get it over with.

The problem?

He was feeling increadbly uncomfortable with this "love" song.

_THATS NOT A LOVE SONG. _He wanted to shout when she gave him a sheet with the lyrics.

_THERE'S JUST THE WORD 'LOVE' IN THE TITLE. THIS SONG IS JUST SO..._

"this is going to be great!" she exclaimed excitedly

"yeah" he said, not looking up from the sheet.

She got up from her seat and started walking towards the booth, dragging her hands along his shoulders, sending shivers down his spine (_not good shivers. More like uncomfortable shivers?)_

she settled down in the booth, sitting on a stool with the microphone positioned in front of her, another stool set up, waiting for his sorry butt to sit on it and record this thing.

He slowly shuffled in, trying _really_ hard to pretend he was just as excited about this as she was.

They got their headphones and they got ready.

Oh he's going to hate himself for this.

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ (◕﹏◕✿) *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

_"AUSTIN MOON AND JASMINE FIERA? Can you say romaaaaaaaaaaaaance!?"_

_"austin moon and jasmine fiera have released a new single! And it's honetly one of the hottest songs of this month. Literally it's a really hot, sexy and sensual song. Very unusual and unexpected."_

_"i'm still shocked about austin moon singing the words, pleasure, moaning, and the pressure between my hips. Dude this song is too hot to be handled. This is so unfair austin makes me weak."_

_"jasmine fiera sings about wanting to be loved harder by austin moon in the duo's new, and first single."_

_"he must be a hard lover"_

he didn't even want to hear anyone's reactions anymore. He was just so done with everything. A permenent frown plastered to his face.

That song, which he was forced to record, will haunt him for the rest of his life.

_Nothing can make this day worse. _He groaned and threw himself on his bed.

He was wrong.

His newly purchased phone rang and he made the mistake of picking it up.

Jimmy.

He proposed (ha more like forced) the idea of him and jasmine getting together.

He strongly protested.

But hey it looks like his opinion didn't matter anymore!

So now he's appearently dating jasmine fiera. Hooray. _Shoot me._

There goes his new phone flying towards the wall.

_BOOM. CRASH. Sound of my anger._

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ (◕﹏◕✿) *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

so now he had to walk around with jasmine glued to his hip 24/7.

walking the red carpet together.

Recording even more songs together.

Having to get all touchy with her.

He even let her kiss him.

She really deserved someone who actually liked her back.

He didn't. In fact He was convinced he actually hated her. But he tried to be nice as much as possible.

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ (◕﹏◕✿) *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

_so violets are blue_

_roses are red_

_why is it everyting i do_

_i'm reminded of you?_

They attended the Miami Music Awards together.

Her with her arm linked with him, on his right side, waving to the fans and posing for the camera.

He remembered almost a year ago when him and ally were excited to attend the WMAs together and they had that discussion about how they were going to show up.

_Hold up._

_It's been almost a year!?_

_What?_

_How did that happen?_

No seriously how did it happen?

He felt sad all over again.

_We have been officially over for almost a year_. He thought quietly when ally and jake appeared on the red carpet.

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ (◕﹏◕✿) *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

_"we'll still be in eachother's lives"_

bullshit.

The biggest lie ally dawson has ever told. And she barely ever lies.

Nothing has been the same with them.

Literally _nothing._

Ally came back from tour and she immidiatly got busy with her second album. They barely had one of their proper songwriting sessions. Jasmine being there all the time and jake appearing once in a while, which by the way, pissed him off SO much he almost broke the piano keys when he once walked in on them.

Trish was constantly busy with the boyband.

And dez was making it big in that directing school. Still in LA.

What happened to them?

How can the drift apart that easily?

So this was his new life now? Being with someone he didn't like and watching his love hitting it off with someone else, and his friends being miles away from him? Thats it? This all happened because he chose his career over her (more like forced to choose his career, but whatever.)

maybe that's the problem, he's letting himself being told what to do too much.

Head of record label or not, but jummy had made him do too many things he didn't want to.

The list Starts with breaking up with ally alllllll the way to writing a song and announcing that it was about jasmine.

He just can't quit now, it's too late.

Way too late.

He felt trapped. He was stuck with this life he didn't want. For possibly forever.

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ (◕﹏◕✿) *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

it's amazing what _one_ wrong choice caused.

Just like how that _one _random choice of entering sonic boom on that day turned out to be the best thing that happened to him, without even knowing it that night at the WMAs turned out to be one of the most important nights in his life. Not for the reasons he thought back then...

_if_ he chose the right thing back at that night.

_If _he told jimmy that he should drop him from his label if it meant he had to choose between his career and ally.

_If_ he made it clear that he wanted to be with ally.

_If_ he told ally exactly how much he actually loved her.

this wouldn't be happening.

He wouldn't be sitting here right now feeling like his throat is closing up.

_But seriously though? What was i expecting? That me and ally would get back together after a while? no. Obviously not. THEN WHAT WAS I EXPECTING? WHY AM I SO SHAKEN UP ABOUT THIS?_

He wouldn't feel like his heart is being squeezed to death. His chest wouldn't be burning.

He wouldn't be sitting here, front row, wearing a tux, feeling like he's about to collapse, while watching her walk down that isle wearing a white dress.

His heart wouldn't be breaking while watching her flash a smile to the guy she ended up falling in love with for real. It wasn't an act for them anymore.

Ally dawson ended up hearing those words "_i love you_". The three words she had been waiting her whole life to hear.

But it wasn't from him.

her smile could light up a whole city right now. He recognized that way she was looking at him. She used to look at him like that as well. All those Years ago. Before he made that stupid mistake.

His heart clenched.

He didn't tell her how he felt when he had the chance.

"do you take ally dawson to be your lawfully weaded wife?"

_**i was already too late.**_

"i do"

_**he had swept you off your feet.**_

_I said i couldn't loose you again, but ally, i lost you again._

How did this even happen? It doesn't make sense!

*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ (◕﹏◕✿) *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧

**Ha i bet you're thinking..."wtf is wrong with her and wtf did i just read?"**

**well my friend i don't exacly know how to write a happy ending.**

**It always goes down in flames in my world. Even if i don't write it that good for it to be efective but ehhhhhhhhhhh.**

**And yes i tend to over exagerate.**

**I think you've noticed that by now.**

**Mkay, thanks for reading. Reviews are sort of cool. (or at least something that lets me know people actually took time to read this)**


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